Stay Tuned
So, I’ve kind of neglected the blog. I mean, totally neglected the blog. I’m intimidated by other people’s blogs (which are way cooler than mine). I mean, i stumble upon these rookie blogs that have serious photoshop, highly intellectual prose, or some like crafty art thing they made from their old socks or something. I, on the other hand, am incredibly dull and this blog is and will remain lackluster. Now that you’re forewarned…I’ll pick up where I left off in March…..
Lesson I’ve learned on the subway.
So, you should not date any man who rides the subway. I’ve decided, as a rule, 85% of them completely throw their manners out the window when it comes to them getting within two inches of your face, thus squeezing you into a packed subway car as the doors close. Some men are clever, and try to lean on you (by you, I mean, in this example, me). Anyway, these guys lean on me, as if I am their support beam. After my first experience with being knocked around with a gross dude leaning up against you- I got wise.
Now I make certain to leave at least 7 inches in front of me. Not enough for people to notice the space, enough for my plan of action. So, step one is wait for said jerk to press himself against you in the ‘i can’t possibly wait 3 more seconds for the next subway’ way. Step two- wait until the train is going super fast and approaching upcoming stop. Step three- slowly step into the 7 inches you left open at the beginning of your ride, and watch Sir Selfish stumble and almost fall on his ass. That’ll teach you to lean on me mister. I may be 6’0 tall, but in no way, shape or form did I sign up to be your column.
Oh yeah, so why you shouldn’t date guys on the subway- because they all do this or they jump into the one seat when an old lady needs one or they leave their backpacks on only to bump into you every 3 seconds leaving you properly bruised upon arrival at your destination.
I’ve totally entered the phase of the sunscreen song where the guy says “Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard” … I think we’re past this point….
For your viewing pleasure, since I need to add some artistic things to this blog- I have displayed New York in pictures. 3 pictures to be exact. (please find them in the slideshow)…….
